SO i have been feeling so strange lately. I have been in wonderful moods since about wednesday, and i can't figure exactly why. I don't feel like myself sometimes, like im looking at myself from a different place in my mind, or just outside it, or something... very, very strange. And yet i feel like myself more than ever; i'm not so moody and depressed, not so jumpy and judgemental and all the things i have been lately. I feel like my old hyper obnoxious self, without all the undercurrents. AND i can blog blue kool-ade style again!!!! and none of you have any idea what i'm talkin about!!! SO kindly proceed to the date  in my calendar and read that entry!!!

~ Sunday was awesome!!! I am finally realizing truth for myself, which, amazing as it sounds, is hard for me to grasp. I think my mind runs backwards. I know all about God's unconditional love and grace, but i find that i block myself off from him when i screw up because im afraid he won't take me back, or he'll scold me for days. But i always find that he doesn't; He is waiting with open arms, as if i'm the prodegal's daughter. And i know how badly i need to spend time with Jesus everyday, how important it is, but i make excuses for being busy or tired or my teeth are sore or something funky like that, or ill do it later. Bad Tenny!!!  I must beat it into my wittle head. lol, jk!

Someone told me once that i love fun things, that im a fun person. Which i cant dispute, so... She said i need to learn to be more like the child of God i am. "You know when fathers play with their little babies, the baby will try crawling away, and they try to get into something bad, but the father pulls them back just in time and he lays them on their back and tickles them, and they lay on their back giggling and forget all about it, cause all they see is their loving father." I am learning how to be a kid again, for the first time. And God is my patient Father. The lady prayed for me, and said that God created me this way and loves it so much, and that whenever something bad comes he'll pull me back, and when things seem down he'll make something fun, because he knows what i need so well. And finally i'm starting to live as myself, Krysten Proctor, the child of God!

Toodles!